Month: September 2025

Interior of a wooden shipping crate with Walter Winkwink’s feet visible, glowing barcode on the wall, packing peanuts scattered, and overripe bananas in the corner.

Update: Walter Sends Second Crate Dispatch, Declares Himself Chosen by Barcode Gods

September 30, 2025

A dimly lit alleyway behind The Wink Report building shows a wooden shipping crate beside trash bins, scattered papers, and a banana peel under a glowing office window.

Walter Winkwink Has Gone Missing…Again

September 29, 2025

Evolution of Man chart ending with a Gen Z figure hunched over, texting emojis on a smartphone.

Walter Translates the Youths: A Guide to Communicating With Modern Grunts

September 26, 2025

Shopper in hazmat suit pushes a Costco cart containing dangerous grocery items, including an exploding Prosecco bottle, fiery yogurt, and suspiciously labeled jars.

If the Wine Doesn’t Get You, the Jalapeño Yogurt Will: Costco’s Conspiracy Deepens

September 20, 2025

Exiled Windows 10 users wander a tech wasteland, clutching outdated devices, as a smug Clippy guards glowing Windows 11 towers in the distance.

Windows 10 Users Banned from Society, Forced to Live in Offline Colonies

September 17, 2025

A frustrated man yelling at a computer screen that displays the message, “Have you tried turning yourself off and on again?”

AI to Handle All Customer Complaints; Response Limited to “Have You Tried Turning Yourself Off and On Again?”

September 14, 2025

A frustrated man squints through stacked magnifying glasses at the fine print on a toothpaste tube labeled "WhitenRite UltraBlast MaxXx™", surrounded by blurry product boxes and legal disclaimers.

I Read the Fine Print and Now I Owe Three Goats to a Toothpaste Company

September 11, 2025

A quirky man with blonde curls, glasses, and headphones holds a banana and raises his finger in discovery, surrounded by banana peels, a blender of banana mush, and a whiteboard labeled "Banana Physics" in a chaotic lab setting.

Banana-Powered Cars: The Fruit-Based Future They Don’t Want You to Know About

September 9, 2025

Chester ‘Box Score’ McStats in his cluttered garage, surrounded by charts and pizza, watching the Eagles vs Cowboys game during a lightning delay.

I Ran the Numbers: This NFL Season Is Already Over

September 5, 2025

A surreal digital battlefield where Walter Winkwink faces the towering, monstrous Corrector-9000 inside the Glitch Core. Walter holds a glowing red pen, defying the glitching chaos around him.

Recollections: The Typo War (Parts II & III)

September 2, 2025