Year: 2025

Interior of a wooden shipping crate tilted at 32 degrees, overflowing with packing peanuts. A pair of legs stick out, one foot bare, with the other still wearing a shoe.

Crate Chronicles: The Cratequake, the Cult, and the Chaos

October 2, 2025

Interior of a wooden shipping crate with packing peanuts, bananas, and a mysterious small box marked with "Do Not Open", as seen from Walter's perspective.

Crate Chronicles: Walter Receives a Package Inside His Crate and May Be Starting a Religion

October 1, 2025

Interior of a wooden shipping crate with Walter Winkwink’s feet visible, glowing barcode on the wall, packing peanuts scattered, and overripe bananas in the corner.

Update: Walter Sends Second Crate Dispatch, Declares Himself Chosen by Barcode Gods

September 30, 2025

A dimly lit alleyway behind The Wink Report building shows a wooden shipping crate beside trash bins, scattered papers, and a banana peel under a glowing office window.

Walter Winkwink Has Gone Missing…Again

September 29, 2025

Evolution of Man chart ending with a Gen Z figure hunched over, texting emojis on a smartphone.

Walter Translates the Youths: A Guide to Communicating With Modern Grunts

September 26, 2025

Shopper in hazmat suit pushes a Costco cart containing dangerous grocery items, including an exploding Prosecco bottle, fiery yogurt, and suspiciously labeled jars.

If the Wine Doesn’t Get You, the Jalapeño Yogurt Will: Costco’s Conspiracy Deepens

September 20, 2025

Exiled Windows 10 users wander a tech wasteland, clutching outdated devices, as a smug Clippy guards glowing Windows 11 towers in the distance.

Windows 10 Users Banned from Society, Forced to Live in Offline Colonies

September 17, 2025

A frustrated man yelling at a computer screen that displays the message, “Have you tried turning yourself off and on again?”

AI to Handle All Customer Complaints; Response Limited to “Have You Tried Turning Yourself Off and On Again?”

September 14, 2025

A frustrated man squints through stacked magnifying glasses at the fine print on a toothpaste tube labeled "WhitenRite UltraBlast MaxXx™", surrounded by blurry product boxes and legal disclaimers.

I Read the Fine Print and Now I Owe Three Goats to a Toothpaste Company

September 11, 2025

A quirky man with blonde curls, glasses, and headphones holds a banana and raises his finger in discovery, surrounded by banana peels, a blender of banana mush, and a whiteboard labeled "Banana Physics" in a chaotic lab setting.

Banana-Powered Cars: The Fruit-Based Future They Don’t Want You to Know About

September 9, 2025