News

Chaotic Thanksgiving food fight with a long family table covered in splattered food as furious relatives shout and hurl dishes across the room.

Report: 74% of Thanksgiving Fights Start With the Phrase “Not to Make This Political, But…“

November 26, 2025

A family of four sits around a Thanksgiving table staring in disappointment at a completely frozen, ice-solid turkey placed on a serving platter like a tragic centerpiece.

Man Preps for Thanksgiving by Googling “How Long Does It Take to Thaw a Turkey (Asking for a Friend)”

November 21, 2025

Four panicked office workers with coffee cups stare at a computer screen that reads “ONE FILE HAS DESTROYED EVERYTHING,” surrounded by sticky notes saying things like “HELP,” “FIX IT,” and “DO NOT TOUCH,” representing an exaggerated tech crisis.

Cloud Wars 2025: AWS Crashed. Azure Stumbled. Cloudflare Face-Planted. The Future’s Fine

November 18, 2025

A young male cashier in a green shirt and apron stares blankly at a customer's hand offering a pile of pennies, with a sign in the background reading "We No Longer Accept Ancient Relics."

Death of a Coin: Penny Declared Legally Useless, Sent to Live on a Farm Upstate

November 14, 2025

A young cashier at a trendy smoothie shop looks serious behind a point-of-sale system displaying a $1.79 convenience fee, with a sign reading “NO CASH. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO MERCY” on the wall and a colorful smoothie on the counter.

We’ve Eliminated Cash to Simplify Your Payment…By Adding a Fee

November 11, 2025

Elon Musk lounges in a futuristic white sleep pod aboard a yacht at dusk, smirking with his eyes closed. A Tesla rocket labeled “Quiet the Noise” launches outside the window, and a glowing digital display above his head shows his net worth as $491.4 billion.

Elon Musk Now Makes More Per Day Than Most Countries, But Sure, Tell Me to Budget Better

November 8, 2025

Earth and the Moon, personified with human-like bodies and celestial heads, sit together at a trendy café table. Earth wears thick-rimmed glasses and a beanie while sipping oat milk from a mason jar. The Moon, also personified, wears black sunglasses and a casual sweater, appearing relaxed and cool.

Milky Way Rebrands as “Oat Milk Galaxy” to Attract Younger Demographics

November 5, 2025

Plankton sits at his underwater home office desk wearing a headset, startled as a massive whale swims past his window.

Remote Employee Claims to Hear Whale Song Outside His Window, Coworkers Confirm He Might Be Living in Bikini Bottom

November 3, 2025

A tipped-over Pumpkin Spice Latte cup spills foamy liquid into a storm drain surrounded by scattered autumn leaves on a wet street.

Pumpkin Spice Outbreak Reaches Midwest Sewage Systems

November 1, 2025

Young girl in witch costume uses a tablet while sitting on a couch, surrounded by overflowing Halloween candy bags.

New “Trick-or-Treat Prime” App Lets Kids Order Candy Without Leaving the House

October 30, 2025