News

Four coworkers wearing Santa hats and name tags hold beers at a brewery, smiling awkwardly during an office holiday party.

Office Holiday Parties Rebranded as “Mandatory Cheer Compliance Events”

December 15, 2025

Four shocked Christmas elves in festive outfits stare wide-eyed at a laptop screen in a cozy North Pole workshop.

Mrs. Claus Starts OnlyFans to Fund Elf Pension Plan

December 11, 2025

Man meditating peacefully on the floor with eyes closed while holding a glowing smartphone with social media notifications.

Man Who Declared “I’m Logging Off for Good” Mysteriously Back Online 11 Minutes Later

December 6, 2025

Santa Claus wearing an Amazon warehouse vest scans a package while stressed-out elves in green uniforms sort Amazon boxes inside a converted North Pole workshop.

Santa Outsourced to Amazon; North Pole Becomes Fulfillment Center

December 2, 2025

Chaotic Thanksgiving food fight with a long family table covered in splattered food as furious relatives shout and hurl dishes across the room.

Report: 74% of Thanksgiving Fights Start With the Phrase “Not to Make This Political, But…“

November 26, 2025

A family of four sits around a Thanksgiving table staring in disappointment at a completely frozen, ice-solid turkey placed on a serving platter like a tragic centerpiece.

Man Preps for Thanksgiving by Googling “How Long Does It Take to Thaw a Turkey (Asking for a Friend)”

November 21, 2025

Four panicked office workers with coffee cups stare at a computer screen that reads “ONE FILE HAS DESTROYED EVERYTHING,” surrounded by sticky notes saying things like “HELP,” “FIX IT,” and “DO NOT TOUCH,” representing an exaggerated tech crisis.

Cloud Wars 2025: AWS Crashed. Azure Stumbled. Cloudflare Face-Planted. The Future’s Fine

November 18, 2025

A young male cashier in a green shirt and apron stares blankly at a customer's hand offering a pile of pennies, with a sign in the background reading "We No Longer Accept Ancient Relics."

Death of a Coin: Penny Declared Legally Useless, Sent to Live on a Farm Upstate

November 14, 2025

A young cashier at a trendy smoothie shop looks serious behind a point-of-sale system displaying a $1.79 convenience fee, with a sign reading “NO CASH. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO MERCY” on the wall and a colorful smoothie on the counter.

We’ve Eliminated Cash to Simplify Your Payment…By Adding a Fee

November 11, 2025

Elon Musk lounges in a futuristic white sleep pod aboard a yacht at dusk, smirking with his eyes closed. A Tesla rocket labeled “Quiet the Noise” launches outside the window, and a glowing digital display above his head shows his net worth as $491.4 billion.

Elon Musk Now Makes More Per Day Than Most Countries, But Sure, Tell Me to Budget Better

November 8, 2025