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November 6, 2025
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A man sitting on a couch with a laptop on his lap, clenching his fists in frustration as he sees a paywall pop-up on an article titled “Ten Ways to Reduce Stress,” which demands $4.99 monthly and includes a “Scream Now” button for an extra $2.99 add-on.
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Everything Costs Money Now…Except This Madness

October 18, 2025
A frustrated man sitting on a toilet in a modern public restroom, holding a smartphone that reads “LOADING YOUR WIPE ALLOCATION…” while glowing digital ads on the stall walls promote “Sponsored by Charmin” and “Watch this 15-second video for 2-ply.”
  • Lifestyle News

Trickle-Down Economics Has Officially Reached the Restroom

October 16, 2025
Evolution of Man chart ending with a Gen Z figure hunched over, texting emojis on a smartphone.
  • Lifestyle News

Walter Translates the Youths: A Guide to Communicating With Modern Grunts

September 26, 2025
Teenage girl looking distressed at phone with 1% battery, ignoring nearby charger plugged into the wall.
  • Lifestyle News

Research Shows: Plugging in Phone Helps Battery Last Longer

August 6, 2025
A man in a pink bathrobe holds a Pamprin box with a confused yet enlightened expression, sitting at a desk with BuzzBallz, dual monitors, and an open journal that reads “Mood: Swirly but Okay,” with Star Wars posters behind him.
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Pamprin “Changed My Life,” Says Man Who Thought Menstrual Was a Spice

July 19, 2025
Billionaire Bezos on stilts during Income Inequality Appreciation Day Parade
  • Lifestyle News

Billionaires Lobby for “Income Inequality Appreciation Day” National Holiday

June 28, 2025
stained glass Resurrect Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self
  • Lifestyle News

Blessed Be the Bud: Confused Pastor Quotes Snoop Instead of Scripture

April 20, 2025
Monkey writers from The Wink Report burned out
  • Lifestyle News

Burned Out, Broke, and Buzzing on Foam: A Wink Report Editorial

April 14, 2025
Frazzled parent with crazy kid running around
  • Lifestyle News

Survey Finds 80% of Parents’ Vocabulary Consists of “Because I Said So”

April 7, 2025
Clueless man sitting on couch while wife glares at him as he should be able to read his mind
  • Lifestyle News

Wife’s Psychic Abilities Confirmed After Husband Forgets to Read Her Mind Again

April 3, 2025

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