Local News

A man in a pink bathrobe holds a Pamprin box with a confused yet enlightened expression, sitting at a desk with BuzzBallz, dual monitors, and an open journal that reads “Mood: Swirly but Okay,” with Star Wars posters behind him.

Pamprin “Changed My Life,” Says Man Who Thought Menstrual Was a Spice

Walter Winkwink, wearing a safari hat and life vest, drifts sideways in a teal kayak on the Au Sable River in Grayling, Michigan, with a frog perched on the bow staring at him. Majestic pine trees line the shore and a bald eagle winks overhead.

REVIEW: Borcher’s AuSable Canoe & Kayak; The River Ride That Ruined My Career in Competitive Lounging

Four primate journalists in rainbow-striped party hats celebrate The Wink Report’s one-year anniversary in a chaotic newsroom, gathered around a chocolate cake reading “WE’RE STILL NOT CANCELLED!”, while a smiling man photobombs in the center, later identified as Greg from Accounting.

One Year of Wink: We Blinked and a Year Winked By

Man Standing Triumphant in Front of a Microwave Displaying 808 for Bob Time

Local Man Claims Ownership of 8:08, Demands Respect During “Bob Time”: Family Pretends Not to Know Him

middle aged man diving for volleyball immediately regrets it

Man in Physical Pain Insists “It’s Totally Worth It” After Diving for Ball No One Asked Him To

Middle aged Dad looking at his lawn mowed yesterday in approval

Report: 9 Out of 10 Dads Spotted Inspecting Lawns They Mowed Yesterday “Just to Be Sure”

X-Ray of Brain Powered by Headlines Only

Headline-Only Reader Shocked to Learn Articles Contain Actual Information

Walter Winkwink signing the Elder Accords

Walter Winkwink and the Trials of the Elder Accord

Walter Escaping Jungle with The Ribbon

He’s Back: Walter Winkwink Returns with Sacred Ribbon and Just Enough Sanity to Reclaim The Wink Report

man surprised his munchies went through $300 worth

Michigan Man Sues Dispensary After Getting Too High and Eating $300 Worth of His Own Groceries