News

middle aged man diving for volleyball immediately regrets it

Man in Physical Pain Insists “It’s Totally Worth It” After Diving for Ball No One Asked Him To

Middle aged Dad looking at his lawn mowed yesterday in approval

Report: 9 Out of 10 Dads Spotted Inspecting Lawns They Mowed Yesterday “Just to Be Sure”

dumpster fire of politics

Political Jokes: “I’m Not Adding Another Log to That Dumpster Fire”

X-Ray of Brain Powered by Headlines Only

Headline-Only Reader Shocked to Learn Articles Contain Actual Information

employee eating condiment packet for lunch

Welcome to the Company! Here’s Your Pay Cut and a Mug That Says “Teamwork”

Elon Musk Launching Self to Space from his Bunker

Luxury Bunker Sales Soar as Billionaires Prepare for “Peasant Uprising 2025”

stained glass Resurrect Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self

Blessed Be the Bud: Confused Pastor Quotes Snoop Instead of Scripture

Snoop Dogg with blunt in space

Divine, Dank, and Deep-Fried: Blue Origin Announces Its Most Relatable Space Crew Yet

Monkey writers from The Wink Report burned out

Burned Out, Broke, and Buzzing on Foam: A Wink Report Editorial

Cheeseburger May Contain Traces of Reality

FDA Finally Admits: Everything Tastes Better with a Sprinkle of Denial