Year: 2025

A young cashier at a trendy smoothie shop looks serious behind a point-of-sale system displaying a $1.79 convenience fee, with a sign reading “NO CASH. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO MERCY” on the wall and a colorful smoothie on the counter.

We’ve Eliminated Cash to Simplify Your Payment…By Adding a Fee

November 11, 2025

Elon Musk lounges in a futuristic white sleep pod aboard a yacht at dusk, smirking with his eyes closed. A Tesla rocket labeled “Quiet the Noise” launches outside the window, and a glowing digital display above his head shows his net worth as $491.4 billion.

Elon Musk Now Makes More Per Day Than Most Countries, But Sure, Tell Me to Budget Better

November 8, 2025

Earth and the Moon, personified with human-like bodies and celestial heads, sit together at a trendy café table. Earth wears thick-rimmed glasses and a beanie while sipping oat milk from a mason jar. The Moon, also personified, wears black sunglasses and a casual sweater, appearing relaxed and cool.

Milky Way Rebrands as “Oat Milk Galaxy” to Attract Younger Demographics

November 5, 2025

Plankton sits at his underwater home office desk wearing a headset, startled as a massive whale swims past his window.

Remote Employee Claims to Hear Whale Song Outside His Window, Coworkers Confirm He Might Be Living in Bikini Bottom

November 3, 2025

A tipped-over Pumpkin Spice Latte cup spills foamy liquid into a storm drain surrounded by scattered autumn leaves on a wet street.

Pumpkin Spice Outbreak Reaches Midwest Sewage Systems

November 1, 2025

Young girl in witch costume uses a tablet while sitting on a couch, surrounded by overflowing Halloween candy bags.

New “Trick-or-Treat Prime” App Lets Kids Order Candy Without Leaving the House

October 30, 2025

Animatronic zombie clown standing beside a clearance bin of bizarre Halloween costumes inside a dimly lit Spirit Halloween store.

Spirit Halloween Opens Store Inside Abandoned Spirit Halloween

October 28, 2025

A man in his early 30s yells into a black mailbox while holding a food delivery flyer, standing on the walkway of a suburban home.

AWS Outage Plunges World Into Chaos as Humans Forget How to Human Without Wi-Fi

October 26, 2025

A man sitting on a couch with a laptop on his lap, clenching his fists in frustration as he sees a paywall pop-up on an article titled “Ten Ways to Reduce Stress,” which demands $4.99 monthly and includes a “Scream Now” button for an extra $2.99 add-on.

Everything Costs Money Now…Except This Madness

October 18, 2025

A frustrated man sitting on a toilet in a modern public restroom, holding a smartphone that reads “LOADING YOUR WIPE ALLOCATION…” while glowing digital ads on the stall walls promote “Sponsored by Charmin” and “Watch this 15-second video for 2-ply.”

Trickle-Down Economics Has Officially Reached the Restroom

October 16, 2025