Year: 2025

A man sitting on a couch with a laptop on his lap, clenching his fists in frustration as he sees a paywall pop-up on an article titled “Ten Ways to Reduce Stress,” which demands $4.99 monthly and includes a “Scream Now” button for an extra $2.99 add-on.

Everything Costs Money Now…Except This Madness

October 18, 2025

A frustrated man sitting on a toilet in a modern public restroom, holding a smartphone that reads “LOADING YOUR WIPE ALLOCATION…” while glowing digital ads on the stall walls promote “Sponsored by Charmin” and “Watch this 15-second video for 2-ply.”

Trickle-Down Economics Has Officially Reached the Restroom

October 16, 2025

An angry, human-like tree with arms on its hips glares down at a white Range Rover that has crashed into its trunk, while a blue garbage truck lingers in the background.

Baldwin Crashes Wife’s Car, Blames Whale-Truck and Big Fat Tree. Plot Twist: He’s Fine

October 14, 2025

Walter Winkwink stands atop a shattered crate, clutching a broken typewriter and a banana under a glowing banana-shaped spotlight, with a faint barcode on his forehead.

I Have Returned. And I Brought Vengeance. (And a Banana.)

October 12, 2025

A dramatic nighttime cityscape of Detroit seen from a suburban rooftop, where a spotlight projects a glowing banana-shaped signal into the cloudy sky, mimicking the iconic Bat-Signal.

We’re Now at 72 Hours Without Walter. The Primate Journalists Are…Not Handling It Well.

October 10, 2025

A disheveled man with messy blonde hair, sweat on his brow, and dirt-smudged clothes peering through a metal vent grate from inside a dusty air duct.

Crate Chronicles: Inside the Vents of the Amazon Fulfillment Hive

October 7, 2025

A dark Amazon warehouse filled with rows of wooden crates stacked on tall metal shelves, stage fog drifting across the cold concrete floor around a cracked crate with banana peels scattered nearby.

Walter Escapes, Crate Implodes, and I’m Now Building a Bunker in the Storage Closet

October 6, 2025

View from inside a wooden shipping crate showing a distant forklift vanishing into shadowy warehouse shelves, with a single crate labeled "Stage Fog" in the distance.

Crate Chronicles: Walter Sends Dispatch #7, Still in the Crate

October 5, 2025

A wooden crate interior, showcasing Gallagher’s iconic Sledge-O-Matic hammer resting upright among scattered packing peanuts and slightly overripe bananas.

Walter Sends Dispatch #6 – Crate X Speaks

October 4, 2025

Two wooden shipping crates sit side by side in a dimly lit warehouse aisle, surrounded by packing peanuts, mystery, and quiet paranoia.

Crate Chronicles: Walter Finds “Crate X,” and the Newsroom Implodes (Again)

October 3, 2025