Month: February 2026

Children play imaginatively with cushions, toys, and cardboard in a lab observation room while scientists watch in surprise after a Wi-Fi outage.

Scientists Confirm Children Only Access Imagination During Wi-Fi Outages, Nation Declares State of Playmergency

February 21, 2026

A smiling Barack Obama in a futuristic silver space suit speaks at a podium before a council of colorful extraterrestrials in a cosmic chamber labeled “Galactic Council.”

Obama Didn’t Deny Aliens…Because He Is the Ambassador From Zeta Reticuli

February 19, 2026

A confused young woman in a retro-themed room blows into a Duck Hunt NES cartridge while holding a yellow rotary phone, surrounded by vintage tech and 90s posters.

Everybody’s Exhausted by the Present, So 2026 Is Officially Retro Season Forever

February 18, 2026

Split image showing curling athletes in identical poses. On the left they sweep a curling stone on Olympic ice, and on the right they clean a spilled jar of spaghetti sauce on a kitchen floor.

Curling Team Claims They’ve Been Practicing by Cleaning Kitchen Floors

February 15, 2026

A satirical evolution chart shows humans progressing from early ancestors to a modern person reclined in a chair, surrounded by glowing screens and wearing a VR headset, illustrating excessive screen dependence.

Americans Now Averaging 12 Hours a Day Staring at Rectangle of Some Kind

February 10, 2026

A man mid-sneeze accidentally taps a glowing "Subscribe Now!" button on his laptop, triggering a chaotic swirl of pop-up ads, QR codes, and subscription boxes labeled "ChairTime+," "Flossify," and "PeachDrop" in a cluttered living room.

Family Accidentally Joins 6 Subscription Services Just By Breathing

February 4, 2026

A cluttered wooden desk with a redacted incident report, bananas, yogurt, reading glasses, and a magnifying glass, suggesting mystery and chaos in an empty newsroom.

Incident Summary: The Week the Newsroom Vanished

February 1, 2026