2025 Grammy Nominations: Talent Not Required
Los Angeles, CA — In a move that has music fans and industry insiders scratching their heads, the Grammy Awards have announced they’re officially opening nominations to anyone with a TikTok account and a pulse. Insiders say it’s all part of the Recording Academy’s recent mission to “diversify,” following the controversial decision to nominate pop icon Beyoncé for her unique take on country music. After all, if Queen Bey can go country, why can’t @LipSyncingLarry snag Best New Artist for his stunning performance of The Lion Sleeps Tonight sung in the shower?
“We’re expanding our boundaries,” explained Grammy spokesperson Belinda Trendwell, visibly sweating as she deflected questions about whether a hip-hop legend’s pivot to country music signaled a mild identity crisis for the awards show. “If Beyoncé can be our next Reba McEntire, then that guy dancing with his blender to Old Town Road is definitely Grammy-worthy.”
The new eligibility guidelines allow anyone who’s ever posted a video on TikTok — regardless of musical experience or, say, knowledge of notes — to qualify. Overnight, TikTok stars everywhere have launched Grammy campaigns, flooding the platform with hashtags like #GiveMeAGrammy and #BeyonceWentCountryWhyNotMe. Among early favorites is @CardboardCarl, whose cardboard-kazoo version of Achy Breaky Heart has already been nominated for three Grammys — one of them for Best Metal Performance.
The Recording Academy’s attempt to shake things up has led to the creation of exciting new Grammy categories like “Most Accidentally Viral Sound,” “Best Off-Key Ballad in a Bathroom,” and “Achievement in Overusing Beyoncé Songs in TikToks.” “We’re here to recognize raw artistry,” said Trendwell. “Whether you’re strumming a guitar or just banging a spoon on a frying pan in time with Single Ladies, you could be a Grammy winner.”
Naturally, the traditional music industry is less than thrilled. “I just finished a 20-city tour,” muttered one Grammy nominee. “Now, someone can win Album of the Year for singing ‘Yee-haw’ over a Drake beat?” Even Beyoncé herself has avoided comment, though insiders say she’s been quietly buying up cowboy boots and practicing her Southern drawl just in case she needs to “pivot” into another genre for next year.
As Grammy night draws near, all eyes are on this year’s new lineup of nominees. Will it be @ScreamingToddler taking home Best New Artist for his ear-splitting rendition of She’ll Be Comin’ Round the Mountain, or @NonQuiteNashville with her mashup, “Halo over Honky-Tonk”? One thing is clear: with talent this “diverse,” this year’s Grammys might just make history — or at least go down in it.