Drivers of the Kia EV6 are in for a surprise as reports emerge of the car’s lane-keeping assist mistaking highway lanes for Mario Kart’s infamous Rainbow Road. What starts as a typical drive quickly turns into a neon-lit thrill ride, complete with drifting, glowing dashboards, and phantom turtle shells. While some owners are embracing the chaos and claiming "boost zones" have shaved minutes off their commute, others are left wondering if their EV needs a software update—or a power-up. Kia promises a fix is on the way, but for now, bananas aren’t just for smoothies.

In a twist no one saw coming, exhausted viewers are abandoning the chaotic battlefield of the Streaming Wars and crawling back to the comforting mediocrity of cable TV. Overwhelmed by skyrocketing subscription fees, endless algorithmic recommendations for shows they’ll never watch, and the dreaded “Are you still watching?” shame prompts, former streamers are rediscovering the charm of flipping through 500 channels of nothingness. “Sure, I’m paying for 200 channels I don’t need, but at least I don’t have to decide what to watch,” said Steve Peterson, clutching his remote like a war hero returning to base. “Sometimes, I just leave it on the weather channel. No ads, no decisions, no stress—pure bliss.”

After 49 1/2 years of legendary pencil-wielding, spreadsheet-scribbling service, Don Olszewski, or "Donny O." as he’s affectionately known, has bid farewell to his Vice President role at Comerica Bank, where his skills were as timeless as his love for a well-sharpened #2 pencil. Known for his unwavering loyalty to hand-drawn spreadsheets and his inability to trust anything involving Ctrl+C, Donny’s decision to retire just short of a clean 50 years might surprise some, but with golf courses, casinos, and quality time with his grandkids calling, he knew it was time. He’s now eagerly embracing his retirement plans: watching pro wrestling, fishing with his iconic dried-up leeches, catching movies, perfecting his golf swing, and finally tackling the “grand adventure” of grocery shopping at Meijer.

Elon Musk has officially redefined 'adventure tourism' with his latest brainchild—GalaxiX: The world’s first theme park in space, complete with zero-gravity churros and rides that make Mach speed feel like a casual Sunday drive. Forget the Magic Kingdom! Imagine a Ferris wheel that hovers at 0.1 Gs while you’re dodging rogue satellites. And don’t miss The Falcon 9 Freefall, where you plummet towards Earth like SpaceX’s rockets... but hopefully with fewer explosions. It’s like a road trip, but in space, with fewer rest stops and way more flamethrowers!

When a series of thunderstorms plunged eastern Michigan into darkness, DLE Energy’s response was anything but ordinary. Instead of swift repairs, residents were greeted with a series of comedic blunders and misguided initiatives that turned a power crisis into a community spectacle. From bizarre customer service practices to hilariously ineffective solutions, this satirical look at DLE Energy’s handling of the outage reveals just how far one company can go to mishandle a blackout. Buckle up for a humorous ride through the chaos of ‘service’ that’s more shocking than the outages themselves!

Corporate America has taken a dramatic turn, focusing solely on shareholder satisfaction and leaving customer service in the dust. Discover how companies are now prioritizing profit over people in this satirical look at the new business trend. With shareholders receiving all the attention and perks, customers are left to wonder where they fit into this new corporate agenda. Dive into our article to see how this shift is shaping the future of business—and why it might just be the most absurd change yet.