Business News

A young cashier at a trendy smoothie shop looks serious behind a point-of-sale system displaying a $1.79 convenience fee, with a sign reading “NO CASH. NO EXCEPTIONS. NO MERCY” on the wall and a colorful smoothie on the counter.

We’ve Eliminated Cash to Simplify Your Payment…By Adding a Fee

November 11, 2025

Elon Musk lounges in a futuristic white sleep pod aboard a yacht at dusk, smirking with his eyes closed. A Tesla rocket labeled “Quiet the Noise” launches outside the window, and a glowing digital display above his head shows his net worth as $491.4 billion.

Elon Musk Now Makes More Per Day Than Most Countries, But Sure, Tell Me to Budget Better

November 8, 2025

Animatronic zombie clown standing beside a clearance bin of bizarre Halloween costumes inside a dimly lit Spirit Halloween store.

Spirit Halloween Opens Store Inside Abandoned Spirit Halloween

October 28, 2025

A man in his early 30s yells into a black mailbox while holding a food delivery flyer, standing on the walkway of a suburban home.

AWS Outage Plunges World Into Chaos as Humans Forget How to Human Without Wi-Fi

October 26, 2025

A frustrated man squints through stacked magnifying glasses at the fine print on a toothpaste tube labeled "WhitenRite UltraBlast MaxXx™", surrounded by blurry product boxes and legal disclaimers.

I Read the Fine Print and Now I Owe Three Goats to a Toothpaste Company

September 11, 2025

Empty restaurant booth with a “Closed” sign in the background

“Going Out of Business” Signs: The Most Reliable Part of 2025

August 23, 2025

A smug billionaire in a tuxedo holds a glowing orb labeled "HOPE" at an extravagant auction, surrounded by laughing elites holding paddles with tech logos, while a poor man peers in longingly through a window.

Richest 1% Accidentally Buy Entire Concept of Hope, Jack Up Price

August 20, 2025

A humanoid robot with a glowing “RECYCLING INITIATED” display drags a confused man holding salad tongs toward a green dumpster labeled “ORGANIC WASTE ONLY.”

Tesla Diner Grand Opening Marred After Robot Waiters Mistake Customers for Trash

real estate agent with blueprints for bunker sweet bunker

Luxury Subterranean Real Estate: Now with Enhanced Ventilation!

employee eating condiment packet for lunch

Welcome to the Company! Here’s Your Pay Cut and a Mug That Says “Teamwork”