Facebook Introduces “Honesty” Feature: Automatically Deletes All Posts
MENLO PARK, CA – Facebook has rolled out a new feature it claims will revolutionize social media: the “Honesty” feature. The cutting-edge tool works by detecting the slightest hint of dishonesty, hyperbole, or curated perfection in posts and automatically deleting them. According to Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg, the feature is designed to “foster authenticity” and “end the era of humblebrags, filtered sunsets, and carefully cropped vacation photos that strategically exclude screaming children.”
Within minutes of its launch, the feature rendered the platform eerily quiet. Users across the globe reported their timelines had been wiped clean, save for a few rare exceptions: posts about people losing their keys, regretting last night’s Taco Bell, or admitting they don’t actually understand how cryptocurrency works.
“My entire feed disappeared,” lamented Gloria Filterson, a self-proclaimed influencer with 200 followers. “I posted a picture of my avocado toast, and the system flagged it as ‘dishonest lifestyle goals.’ It’s not my fault I used a filter that made it look like a Michelin-star meal!”
The feature doesn’t stop at photos. Vague status updates like “Some people really need to learn respect” are auto-deleted with a cheerful message: “Nobody cares. Talk to them directly.” Meanwhile, posts about politics are flagged with a new disclaimer: “Your uncle is still going to vote the other way.”
However, the Honesty feature isn’t without controversy. Some users claim the algorithm is biased against certain personality types. Patricia Overstep, a self-described “truth teller,” had every post removed. “All I did was share my opinion about gluten, vaccines, and millennials,” she fumed.
Despite the backlash, Zuckerberg stands by the feature, touting it as “the cure to social media toxicity.” Insiders report he’s already working on a companion app called “Reality Check,” which sends a gentle nudge whenever users attempt to post inspirational quotes they don’t live by.
As for the future of Facebook, experts predict a sharp decline in users, because without exaggerations, fake personas, and oversharing, what’s the point of social media?
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