Field of Screams: Why My Seat Was Too Close to the Whistle Guy
By Guest Contributor: Todd “Just Here for the Free Snacks” Bratson
I attended Game 6 of the NBA Finals on Thursday night and, folks, let me tell you, it was loud, confusing, and smelled faintly of popcorn sweat. The Indiana Pacers beat the OKC Thunder to force a Game 7, which is apparently a big deal. I can’t verify that, as I spent most of the game trying to untangle my nacho cheese cup from a promotional rally towel.
I was seated in Section 118, Row 4, right behind a man I’ve come to know simply as The Whistle Guy. He wasn’t a referee, just a passionate Pacers fan whose entire game strategy was shrieking through a plastic whistle every time the Thunder touched the ball, tied their shoes, or inhaled.
It was like watching a basketball game from inside a malfunctioning tea kettle.
I think the Pacers played great. I say “think” because my view was blocked by a foam finger, three camera phones, and one very aggressive churro vendor who used my armrest as a napkin.
At one point I asked if it was halftime, and a small child informed me it was the end of the third quarter. Classic Todd.
The highlight? Oh, that’s easy: the jalapeño popper trio I scored during a fourth-quarter timeout. Crispy, spicy, and perfectly paired with a Diet Dr. Pepper I didn’t order but accepted anyway because the vendor called me “champ.”
The lowlight? Accidentally starting a chant I thought was pro-Pacers but was actually just me yelling “Go Blue!”, a college football thing, apparently.
As the final buzzer sounded and Pacers fans erupted in joy (or mild panic, hard to tell), I clapped along politely while googling what a “double-double” is. Turns out it’s not a burger.
I can’t wait for Game 7. I won’t be there. I’ve got a nacho review to write, but I’ll be cheering from home. Quietly. With snacks. Far, far away from The Whistle Guy.
About the Author:
Todd “Just Here for the Free Snacks” Bratson is The Wink Report’s first-ever Concession Correspondent and proud ambassador of stadium cuisine over actual gameplay. With a background in soft pretzel appreciation and a strong opinion on nacho layering technique, Todd brings a refreshingly uninformed yet passionate voice to the world of sports journalism. He once attended a game on purpose and has been confusing athlete names with snack brands ever since.
About The Author
