Hydrogen is the Future: Until Musk Finds a New Favorite Element
Elon Musk, the king of pivoting faster than a Tesla Model S in Ludicrous Mode, has declared hydrogen the future of energy. Yes, the same hydrogen he once described as “stupid,” “inefficient,” and “basically a cosmic prank.” But in true Musk fashion, he’s now investing billions into it because, apparently, it’s not the future until he says so.
“Hydrogen is incredible,” Musk announced at a press conference while sipping from a water bottle labeled “Byproduct.” He explained how Tesla’s new Model H will harness the power of hydrogen, proving that even the universe’s most abundant element can be made exclusive and expensive.
However, industry insiders are skeptical, and for good reason. Musk’s enthusiasm for elements is notoriously short-lived. Let’s not forget his brief fling with lithium, his short-lived carbon-capture obsession, and that one awkward dinner date with boron. Analysts are already taking bets on which element will dethrone hydrogen next. Neon? Too flashy. Osmium? Too dense. Helium? Too much giggling at press events.
Infrastructure also remains a challenge. “Building hydrogen stations is hard,” Musk admitted. “But don’t worry. We’ll just use SpaceX rockets to drop hydrogen tanks from orbit. Problem solved.”
Despite the hurdles, Tesla fanatics are already lining up for the Model H, convinced it’ll change everything. Early leaks suggest the car will come with “smart water vapor,” which will sync with your Tesla app to remind you to hydrate.
As for what’s next, Musk was coy. “Hydrogen is great,” he said, “but there are 117 other elements to explore. The periodic table is my playground, and we’re just getting started.”
Stay tuned, folks. By next quarter, we could all be driving cars powered by Elon’s newest discovery: a yet-unnamed blend of hype, memes, and hot air.
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