Kia EV6 Recall: Software Confuses Highway Lanes with Mario Kart Rainbow Road

In what some are calling the greatest technological crossover since the invention of the spork, drivers of the Kia EV6 are reporting a peculiar software glitch: the car’s lane-keeping assist system seems to think it’s racing on Mario Kart’s Rainbow Road.

“It started off normal enough,” said Terry Blinker, a Michigan resident and proud Kia EV6 owner. “But as soon as I hit I-75, the screen lit up like a rave, and the car kept trying to drift around imaginary banana peels. Next thing I know, my cup holder’s glowing, and the GPS is yelling, ‘Final Lap!’”

Kia engineers have reportedly identified the issue as a coding mix-up where the EV6 mistook highway lane markers for Rainbow Road’s psychedelic streaks. “We accidentally uploaded what we thought was advanced lane detection software,” said an anonymous Kia employee. “Turns out it was a DLC pack for Mario Kart. Honest mistake. Who knew Bowser would handle better than a compact SUV?”

The glitch has led to some…creative driving. Several EV6 owners claim their cars now randomly deploy what appear to be virtual green shells at fellow drivers, while others have reported being launched into mid-air “boost zones” near freeway exits. “I didn’t even know Michigan had launch ramps,” said one driver, “but hey, it shaved five minutes off my commute.”

Not everyone is amused, however. Insurance companies are less than thrilled with this automotive free-for-all. “Explaining a collision caused by an animated turtle shell was not in my training manual,” said one claims adjuster.

Kia has issued an emergency patch, but not before Elon Musk reportedly tweeted, “Where can I get one?” Rumors suggest Tesla engineers are now secretly working on a “Rainbow Road” mode for their vehicles, promising “full autonomy and sick stunts.”

Until then, Kia owners are advised to avoid highways, turtles, and, most importantly, bananas. As for Terry, he’s just happy his car didn’t decide to drop him into a volcano.

Because life’s already a race, folks, and now it’s in technicolor. Stay safe out there.