Leaked Internal Memo: McDonald’s Staff Told to “Just Nod” If Customers Ask What’s in McRib

CHICAGO, IL – A leaked internal McDonald’s memo has revealed that employees have been instructed to “just nod and smile” when customers ask what, exactly, is in a McRib.

The memo, obtained by The Wink Report from an undisclosed source (probably a disgruntled fry cook with a grudge), outlines a strict company-wide policy regarding customer inquiries about the beloved yet mysteriously sporadic menu item:

The directive has caused widespread confusion and mild panic among McDonald’s workers nationwide, many of whom admit they themselves have no idea what the McRib is made of.

“I used to tell people it was pork,” admitted McDonald’s cashier Dale Greasepants. “But then one guy asked what part of the pig, and I realized I didn’t have an answer. So now I just do the company-approved slow nod and hope they don’t press further.”

McDonald’s corporate representatives declined to comment directly on the leaked memo but released a statement emphasizing the McRib’s “timeless appeal” and “unique blend of flavors.” The statement, notably, did not include the words “meat” or “ingredients.”

Conspiracy theories about the McRib’s true composition have circulated for years, with speculation ranging from “reconstituted pork slurry” to “a secret government experiment gone too far.” Some customers don’t care. “Honestly, it could be made of yoga mats and I’d still eat it,” said longtime McRib enthusiast Lenny Chewster. “Have you tasted the barbecue sauce?”

In response to the backlash, McDonald’s announced that a new QR code will be printed on McRib boxes that, when scanned, will simply direct users to a picture of Ronald McDonald shrugging.