NCAA March Madness 2025 Viewer’s Guide: How to Pretend You Understand the Bracket While Secretly Googling “What is a Seed?”

March Madness is upon us, which means it’s time for sports fans to gather around their televisions, passionately debate their brackets, and pretend they’ve been watching college basketball all year. For the rest of us, it’s time to fake our way through conversations with coworkers, in-laws, and that one neighbor who suddenly becomes a basketball oracle every March.

If you have no idea what a “seed” is, don’t panic. First, resist the urge to blurt out, “Wait, are we gardening?” A seed, in basketball terms, is a team’s ranking within its region, not something you plant in hopes of growing a Final Four contender in your backyard. The higher the seed (lower number), the better the team is supposed to be; unless, of course, an underdog decides to ruin everyone’s bracket like an unpaid intern tripping over the office printer cord.

To maintain the illusion of bracket expertise, follow these simple steps:

Use Generic Phrases. Say things like “That’s a dangerous 12-seed!” or “The committee really did them dirty with that placement.” These statements mean nothing and everything at the same time. Perfect.

Blame the Refs. If a game gets close, shake your head and mutter, “Classic officiating,” regardless of whether or not you understand the call. People will nod in agreement, thinking you’re a seasoned fan who’s seen things.

Casually Mention Upsets. Every year, a lower-seeded team beats a powerhouse. Simply exclaim, “I had a feeling about that one!” whenever an upset happens. No one will question your genius, unless they ask to see your bracket, in which case, claim you forgot to submit it.

Say “They Just Want It More.” If things get intense, look pensive and declare, “It’s all about heart at this stage.” No one can prove or disprove this, making it the safest take in sports history.

Follow these tips, keep Google open on your phone, and you’ll survive March Madness without anyone realizing you thought a “Sweet 16” was a birthday party package. Game on!