Pamprin “Changed My Life,” Says Man Who Thought Menstrual Was a Spice
Don Hudrow, moments after realizing Pamprin was never meant for men, but somehow still made everything better.
TOLEDO, OH – Don Hudrow, 47, a slightly puffy man whose life is an ongoing reboot of his sophomore year at Westfield State University, is now claiming Pamprin, a product marketed for menstrual relief, has “fundamentally altered his emotional and digestive landscape.”
Hudrow, a remote customer support agent for a company that sells themed mousepads, said he purchased the pink box during a late-night CVS run because his “lower back was throbbing from sitting in a swivel chair like a damn gladiator.” He was drawn in by a coupon and a vague memory that Pamprin “sounds like something a wizard would use to fight swelling.”
“I saw the word ‘menstrual,’ but I thought that was just like…a flavor or herb. Like menthol, but classier,” Hudrow explained while sipping a BuzzBall and adjusting his Rush tour t-shirt (2013 reissue, size “smedium”). “Next thing I know, I’m pain-free, calm, and not irrationally angry at Taco Bell for getting rid of the Mexican Pizza again.”
Sources close to Hudrow confirm the transformation was immediate and confusing. “He lit a candle. A lavender one,” said long time friend Curtis Ties. “Then he said he needed some ‘space to decompress emotionally’ before finishing his Mountain Dew Code Red.”
Since the incident, Hudrow has leaned in hard. He now begins every day with two Pamprin, an Enya playlist, and a short journal entry titled Mood: Swirly but Okay. He’s started calling his group chats “circles,” wears slippers before 2 p.m., and recently referred to himself as “The Don of Enlightenment.”
“I didn’t know what bloating felt like until I didn’t feel it,” he said, gazing out the window like he was in a Sarah McLachlan video. “Pamprin didn’t just ease my pain. It made me…whole.”
Pamprin’s PR team declined to comment but did quietly follow Don on Instagram, where he now posts daily affirmations and reviews of soothing chamomile blends.
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