Pop-Up Storm Forms After Local Man Says “It’ll Blow Over”
Locals refuse to stop their Tuesday volleyball game, even as lightning auditions for the team.
TROY, MI – A pop-up thunderstorm formed with surgical precision over a single volleyball court Tuesday evening, moments after a local man uttered the five most meteorologically inaccurate words in Midwestern history: “Eh, it’ll blow over.”
Bob, a semi-confident backyard athlete with a long history of ignoring radar apps, made the statement around 6:48pm while eyeing the darkening sky during his weekly volleyball game with friends at a buddy’s backyard volleyball court.
“It was just a little rumble,” Bob later explained from beneath a damp picnic table. “Clouds looked dramatic, sure, but that’s just Michigan flirting.”
Within 90 seconds, the sky cracked open like a can of store-brand seltzer shaken by Satan himself. Eyewitnesses say the downpour began with “aggressive humidity,” escalated to “biblical,” and then settled into what the National Weather Service officially labeled as “rude.”
Despite the lightning, 45 mph wind gusts, and a thunderclap that blew off Greg’s hat (and possibly part of his hairline), the group continued to play.
“It felt like nature’s version of extreme sports,” said Stacy, a libero who dove face-first into what had become a shallow lake. “Honestly, I think I served better soaked.”
By the second set, visibility had dropped to “shower curtain,” prompting several players to begin mistaking each other for stray garbage bins. Bob, still holding strong to his original forecast, shouted, “It’s just passing through!” as a tree branch ricocheted off the net and landed in a suspiciously perfect upright position in the grass.
The storm finally passed an hour later, having drenched a 60-foot radius and nowhere else in the entire county.
A representative from the National Weather Service issued a statement Wednesday morning:
“We can now confirm that pop-up storms have begun responding to phrases like ‘It’ll blow over,’ ‘It’s just heat lightning,’ and ‘That cloud looks kinda neat.’ We urge all Midwesterners to please stop tempting fate.”
Bob has since updated his weather-predicting philosophy to “trust but verify,” though he also admitted, “Next time, I might just bring a poncho and a tennis racket. Volleyball gets slippery and way more entertaining when soaked.”
Bob has since been nominated for the Medal of Stubbornness and is reportedly drafting a TED Talk titled “Drenched but Determined: One Man’s Journey Through Denial.”
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