Walter Winkwink

A frustrated man in a business suit angrily yells at his iPhone on a busy city street. The phone screen displays a Siri message that reads, “Try again, but nicer.”

Apple Announces New iPhone Will Only Work If You Say Please

January 7, 2026

Walter Winkwink stands at the bottom of an ancient stone pit, looking up toward a distant opening where sunlight pours in.

Recollections: The Vault of the Second Echo

January 4, 2026

A man with blonde hair sits at a cluttered desk, seen from behind, holding a coffee mug while staring at a glowing laptop screen that reads “Pageview: 1.” The wall in front of him is covered in red yarn, pins, and notes forming a chaotic corkboard conspiracy map.

Walter Winkwink Launches Operation: Find the Last Reader

January 3, 2026

A tired man in pajamas and a bathrobe sits on a couch surrounded by delivery boxes, cameras, coffee mugs, and a cracked laptop, overwhelmed by side hustles.

Americans Admit They Don’t Want to Be Rich, Just Comfortable Without a Side Hustle

December 30, 2025

Four reindeer in business suits stand outside the North Pole Courthouse, with Rudolph holding a clipboard labeled “Lawsuit.”

Reindeer Sue Over Working Conditions; Cite Lack of Air Traffic Control

December 19, 2025

Four coworkers wearing Santa hats and name tags hold beers at a brewery, smiling awkwardly during an office holiday party.

Office Holiday Parties Rebranded as “Mandatory Cheer Compliance Events”

December 15, 2025

Four shocked Christmas elves in festive outfits stare wide-eyed at a laptop screen in a cozy North Pole workshop.

Mrs. Claus Starts OnlyFans to Fund Elf Pension Plan

December 11, 2025

Man meditating peacefully on the floor with eyes closed while holding a glowing smartphone with social media notifications.

Man Who Declared “I’m Logging Off for Good” Mysteriously Back Online 11 Minutes Later

December 6, 2025

Santa Claus wearing an Amazon warehouse vest scans a package while stressed-out elves in green uniforms sort Amazon boxes inside a converted North Pole workshop.

Santa Outsourced to Amazon; North Pole Becomes Fulfillment Center

December 2, 2025

Chaotic Thanksgiving food fight with a long family table covered in splattered food as furious relatives shout and hurl dishes across the room.

Report: 74% of Thanksgiving Fights Start With the Phrase “Not to Make This Political, But…“

November 26, 2025