McDonald’s Testing $100 “McLuxury Nuggets” Made from an Endangered Bird (It’s Fine, They’re Regenerating It with AI)

Move over Wagyu beef, McDonald’s is entering the luxury food market with a bold new offering. $100 “McLuxury Nuggets” made from the ultra-rare, nearly extinct Blue-Crested Sporkbill. But don’t worry, McDonald’s promises it’s totally ethical because they’re regenerating the bird with AI.

“We listened to our customers,” said McDonald’s CEO Big Mac McMoneybags. “People want exclusivity, they want decadence, and, most importantly, they want nuggets that scream ‘I’m better than you’ at the dinner table.”

The Blue-Crested Sporkbill, once native to the lush rainforests of South America, was thought to be functionally extinct due to habitat destruction, climate change, and its unfortunate tendency to walk directly into lava pits. But thanks to cutting-edge AI technology, McDonald’s has figured out how to regenerate the species in a lab, just long enough to turn it into a bite-sized delight.

The McAI Gen-Lab™, a top-secret facility located under a discontinued McDonald’s PlayPlace, has been hard at work using a revolutionary technology called “Deep Nugget Learning.” This method allows the AI to reconstruct and grow Sporkbill meat in a petri dish, ensuring a steady supply of hyper-rare poultry without needing to, as McDonald’s puts it, “steal them directly from nature like some kind of primitive poacher.”

“It’s a win-win,” said Dr. Chet Nuggleston, the lead scientist behind the project. “We get to say we’re saving an endangered species while also deep-frying it for profit. That’s the kind of progress the world needs right now.”

The McLuxury Nuggets will be served in a velvet-lined box accompanied by a choice of artisanal dipping sauces, including “Truffle Ketchup,” “Cognac Honey Mustard,” and “Tears of the Working Class.” The company is also offering a “McNugget Sommelier” experience, where a trained McDonald’s employee will gently whisper the Sporkbill’s AI-generated life story to diners before they take their first bite.

Expect the McLuxury Nuggets to launch in select McDonald’s locations, right next to the $1.29 value menu, for maximum psychological confusion.