NASA Spots Intergalactic “Help Wanted” Ad from a Neighboring Galaxy – Apparently, They’re Hiring Earthlings
NASA astronomers have intercepted what appears to be an intergalactic classified ad. Beamed from the Andromeda Galaxy, the message reads: “Seeking Earthlings for galactic expansion project. Benefits include faster-than-light travel, zero-gravity yoga, and immunity to midlife crises. Must bring snacks.”
NASA scientists, caught between disbelief and laughter, confirmed the discovery yesterday. “It’s not every day we get cosmic job offers,” said Dr. Lana Starling, head of the “We Didn’t Sign Up for This” department at NASA. “Frankly, the snacks requirement feels like a direct insult to our freeze-dried ice cream.”
The ad has sparked a debate within the scientific community about what the aliens might want from us. Theories range from genuine collaboration to a possible scam—think interstellar pyramid scheme. “We’re looking into whether they just want our Netflix password,” said Dr. Jim Orbit, a NASA analyst.
The job offer, written in a mix of binary and emoji, also promises perks unheard of on Earth: “Competitive black hole avoidance insurance” and “comprehensive asteroid collision coverage.” However, critics have pointed out the fine print: “Must relocate to Andromeda Galaxy. No return trips guaranteed.”
The general public, as expected, has had mixed reactions. X erupted with responses ranging from “Finally, my moment to shine!” to “Do they know what they’re getting into with humans?!” A viral petition titled “Earthlings Deserve Teleportation as a Signing Bonus” has already gained over a million signatures.
Meanwhile, billionaires have predictably entered the conversation. Elon Musk tweeted, “I call dibs on the pilot seat,” while Jeff Bezos announced plans to deliver the snacks via Amazon Prime Galactic—estimated arrival in 2.5 million years.
For now, NASA is playing it cool. “We’ve sent back a response,” Dr. Starling confirmed. “It says: ‘Will trade snacks for intergalactic Wi-Fi.’”
Stay tuned as humanity’s first chance at an intergalactic gig unfolds. Just don’t expect to use PTO for wormhole exploration.
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