Description
Look, we tried hiring real journalists, but they kept demanding things like “a living wage” and “ethics.” So instead, we went with the next best thing: monkeys with typewriters. The results? Shockingly competent. Sure, they fling the occasional banana at an editor, but overall? It’s still better than cable news
This Ice Blue tee (the same color as your face when you check the news) boldly proclaims: “Monkeys with Typewriters Are Running the Show. And It’s Still Better Than Cable News.”
On the back, we’re giving credit where credit’s due: “At least they work for bananas.”
Plus, it’s got the The Wink Report logo, because even monkeys know how to brand.
This shirt is:
✔️ More Trustworthy Than Your Favorite Talking Head
✔️ Perfect for Venting About Media Overload Without Starting a Fire
✔️ Guaranteed to Start Some Confusing Yet Entertaining Conversations
So, why wait? Grab one of these before the monkeys unionize and start demanding healthcare.
Order now, before the media monopolies figure out we’re onto something.
Product features
– Available in sizes S to 4XL for a perfect fit.
– Double-needle stitching ensures long-lasting wear.
– Tubular knit design reduces fabric waste and enhances aesthetics.
– Garment-dyed for a unique texture and soft colors.
– Made from 100% ethically sourced US cotton for quality and sustainability.
Care instructions
– Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)
– Do not bleach
– Tumble dry: low heat
– Iron, steam or dry: low heat
– Do not dryclean
| S | M | L | XL | 2XL | 3XL | 4XL | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Width, in | 18.25 | 20.25 | 22.00 | 24.00 | 26.00 | 27.75 | 29.75 |
| Length, in | 26.62 | 28.00 | 29.37 | 30.75 | 31.62 | 32.50 | 33.50 |
| Sleeve length from center back, in | 16.25 | 17.75 | 19.00 | 20.50 | 21.75 | 23.25 | 24.63 |
| Size tolerance, in | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.50 |
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