The Articles of Confederation: Now Available in the “Mistakes Were Made” Museum Wing
Early American leaders realizing, too late, that the Articles of Confederation were less of a government plan and more of a group project gone rogue.
In an effort to properly showcase some of America’s earliest governmental “oopsies,” the National Museum of Political Accidents has unveiled its newest exhibit: The Articles of Confederation – A Cautionary Scroll.
Guests entering the dimly lit “Oops Wing” are greeted by an animatronic Benjamin Franklin who sighs audibly every 30 seconds and mutters, “Well, we tried.” The centerpiece of the exhibit is a nearly-intact parchment document that once attempted to run an entire nation with all the structural integrity of a soggy pretzel.
Originally ratified in 1781 by a group of men who thought “central government” was just an urban legend, the Articles gave states the kind of freedom that usually ends with someone yelling, “You’re not my real dad!” Congress under the Articles couldn’t collect taxes, enforce laws, or even afford matching wigs. At one point, the national treasury was a half-used gift card and a box of IOUs labeled “Future Success.”
The museum’s interactive display includes a Build-Your-Own Legislature game, in which every decision ends in gridlock, and a Revolutionary Escape Room where players attempt to fund an army without money, supplies, or a clue.
“They basically created a government where everyone had veto power but no responsibilities,” said museum historian Glenda “Oopsie” McMurphy. “It was like trying to run a country with a group project where no one showed up.”
When asked why the Articles of Confederation lasted as long as they did, McMurphy shrugged. “Sheer spite, I think. Also, parchment was expensive.”
The exhibit ends with a replica of the Constitutional Convention, where a tired James Madison can be seen erasing everything and starting over while Alexander Hamilton offers to write the next government in rhyming couplets.
Mistakes were made. They just wrote them down and called it policy.
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