Walter Winkwink

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employee eating condiment packet for lunch

Welcome to the Company! Here’s Your Pay Cut and a Mug That Says “Teamwork”

Boardroom of primates

Back from the Jungle, Straight into a Desert of Attention Spans

Mr Wigglesworth Distraught After Shredding Pulitzer-worthy Expose

Primate Journalists Mistake Office Shredder for Fax Machine, Lose Pulitzer-worthy Story

Elon Musk Launching Self to Space from his Bunker

Luxury Bunker Sales Soar as Billionaires Prepare for “Peasant Uprising 2025”

Walter Winkwink signing the Elder Accords

Walter Winkwink and the Trials of the Elder Accord

stained glass Resurrect Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self

Blessed Be the Bud: Confused Pastor Quotes Snoop Instead of Scripture

Snoop Dogg with blunt in space

Divine, Dank, and Deep-Fried: Blue Origin Announces Its Most Relatable Space Crew Yet

Monkey writers from The Wink Report burned out

Burned Out, Broke, and Buzzing on Foam: A Wink Report Editorial

Cheeseburger May Contain Traces of Reality

FDA Finally Admits: Everything Tastes Better with a Sprinkle of Denial