News

employee eating condiment packet for lunch

Welcome to the Company! Here’s Your Pay Cut and a Mug That Says “Teamwork”

Elon Musk Launching Self to Space from his Bunker

Luxury Bunker Sales Soar as Billionaires Prepare for “Peasant Uprising 2025”

stained glass Resurrect Yo Self Before You Wreck Yo Self

Blessed Be the Bud: Confused Pastor Quotes Snoop Instead of Scripture

Snoop Dogg with blunt in space

Divine, Dank, and Deep-Fried: Blue Origin Announces Its Most Relatable Space Crew Yet

Monkey writers from The Wink Report burned out

Burned Out, Broke, and Buzzing on Foam: A Wink Report Editorial

Cheeseburger May Contain Traces of Reality

FDA Finally Admits: Everything Tastes Better with a Sprinkle of Denial

Abe Lincoln with beef jerky from stovepipe hat

Abe Lincoln’s Stovepipe Top Hat Was Just a Portable Snack Dispenser

Frazzled parent with crazy kid running around

Survey Finds 80% of Parents’ Vocabulary Consists of “Because I Said So”

self-driving car on road median with potholes and not driving anymore

Self-Driving Car Tests Michigan Roads, Immediately Files for Retirement

Clueless man sitting on couch while wife glares at him as he should be able to read his mind

Wife’s Psychic Abilities Confirmed After Husband Forgets to Read Her Mind Again